Whoever said, “The only two certainties in life are death and taxes” obviously didn’t do the laundry. 

You can get out of doing the dishes by using paper plates and plastic knives and forks. But unless you’ve got an endless budget (or live in a nudist colony) you’ll have to wash your clothes sooner or later.

So what can you do?

You could take your basket (okay, plastic bag) of dirty clothes to your parents’ place and trick them into doing it for you. (“Oh no, I’ve never used a washing machine before. Could you show me how to use it?”) But to do that you’ll have to stay for dinner (served at 4pm) and listen to endless stories about relatives you haven’t seen since you were five.

Another option is to head down to the local Laundromat with so much change you sound like you’re wearing spurs. But the machines will all be full of clothes while their owners are off doing other things—having a drink, grabbing lunch, raising a family, etc.

And if a machine is free, it’s because it:

• is broken
• is full of something that definitely isn’t detergent
• has a coin slot that needs at least one fifty-cent piece (which is the only coin you don’t have).

And do you really want other people to see your underwear?

A much better option is to hire a washing machine from PHD Rentals. You can get yourself a top-loader, front loader (great if there’s nothing on TV), or even a washer/dryer combo so you don’t have to hang out your clothes. (Sorry, but there’s no “iron my clothes and hang them in the wardrobe” option. Yet.)

So what are you waiting for? Get in touch with their friendly staff and get your washing machine delivered today.

Because we really don’t want to see you at a nudist colony.